How to do screen time this summer
Summertime and the livin' is TV
Welcome back to Techno Sapiens! We’ve got a few fun things on the menu for today:
(1) Summer screen time tips
(2) An invitation to join our Techno Sapiens subscriber chat (!)
(3) A new feature called ‘The Scroll,’ where I’m sharing quick updates, news, and links from the worlds of parenting and tech.
6 min read
Happy summer, sapiens!
In my house, we marked the occasion with a classic Memorial Day Weekend: surprisingly cold weather; lots of friends and family; too many hot dogs; and a parade for which my 3-year-old prepared by spending the entire weekend asking “will there be cannons again?” (There were.)1
One of the most common questions I get from parents at this time of year is how to manage screen time in the summer. If that’s you: read on!2
If you, alternatively, are limping to the school-year finish line, and even thinking about summer screen time sounds like another impossible task to add to the to-do list, I get it. Maybe just bookmark this one and revisit in a few weeks.
Alright! To fewer cannons, better weather, and healthier screen time for all!
How to approach screen time with kids this summer
1. Focus on the do, not the don’t
I often hear a version of a question that goes like this: How do I get my kids off of screens this summer? To anyone who’s ever peeled their children’s fingers off a device amidst protests for one more episode, this question makes sense. How do we make it stop?!
But sometimes a different approach works better. Rather than starting with what you don’t want (i.e., too much screen time), think about what you do want.
Get together with your children, and ask yourselves: what do we want out of this summer? Do we want to relax? Play? Learn a new skill? Spend time together? Travel? You can even make a “Summer Bucket List” of simple activities, like going for a bike ride, sampling all your local ice cream shops, brainstorming names for the new baby, etc.3
Then think about where screens do and do not fit in.
2. Find what works for your family
Despite what Instagram videos of children frolicking in grassy fields would have you believe, a successful summer does not have to mean a screen-free summer.
Families approach summer tech use in different ways, and that is okay! Some place stricter limits on screen time in the summer. Others totally loosen the reins. Some do a two-week screen time free-for-all, and then transition to more limits. Others (I’ve heard) hide all the devices in a closet and go camp in the woods.
How to approach screen time this summer is your decision.
Yes, we need to make room for some non-negotiables. Sleep. Physical activity. Socializing. Family time.
And it’s important to remember: the exact number of minutes your child spends on a screen is not going to determine their well-being. Here’s a list of other things their screen time is not going to determine: how good of a parent you are, how much your neighbors should judge you, how much you love your child, how many Paw Patrol characters you can name (okay, maybe that last one).
Find what works for your family, and don’t pay attention to what the Internet has to say about it—except, um, this particular spot on the Internet.
3. Us vs. them is better than me vs. you
Is screen time a constant battle or negotiation in your house? It may be difficult to avoid screen time disagreements completely, but one simple mindset shift can make a difference:
Shifting from me vs. you to us vs. them.
Many of the technologies our children are using are not designed for them. They are designed for adults. And you know what? Even the adults they’re designed for have a hard time regulating their use.
We do not want our kids to feel that there is something wrong with them because they like screen time, want more of it, or are having a hard time stopping. Instead of me (angry parent) against you (screen-obsessed child), we want to approach this as us (parent and child together) against them (the pull of these tricky technologies).
A simple way to do this? Validate that managing screens can be hard for everyone, adults included, and brainstorm solutions together for making it go more smoothly.
4. Boundaries!
If you are looking to create new or improved boundaries around screen time, start with a conversation with your kids about why you’d like to make a change, and solicit their input.
Here are some options4 to consider:
Time limits. Choose a specific number of minutes or hours that screen time is allowed each day, or each week. You can track this the old-fashioned way or, ideally, if the kids are old enough, they can track it themselves. You can also do this via parental controls. Alternatively, you can limit time via a certain number of episodes, movies, video game “levels,” or other markers.
Tech-free locations. Consider setting particular places in (or outside of) your house as “tech-free.” This could be your living room, the kitchen table, the car, grandparents’ house, or somewhere else.
Tech-free times of day. You can also limit screen time to certain times of day. Some tech-free times to consider: meal times, first thing in the morning, the hour before bed.
Create a routine. Another option is to slot screen time into your daily routine, so that it’s predictable and consistent. This might be after the kids get home from camp, or before they go to bed, or something else that works for you.
5. Use screens to connect
A final rule of thumb? Use screens to connect, not distract.
We know that technoference, when our own technology use as parents distracts from our interactions with our kids, is something to try to avoid.
Co-viewing, on the other hand, can actually help build connection. This is simply research-speak for watching screens together with our kids. No matter your child’s age, co-viewing is a great way to spark important conversations and instill positive messages (or counteract negative ones) portrayed on screen.
So, throw on a YouTube video exploring your child’s interests, watch a few episodes of Bluey, or snuggle up on the couch for a family movie night.
I’ll be right there [...on my couch, not yours] with you.
Come hang out with us!
Last week, we launched our Techno Sapiens subscriber chat! I’m very excited to have this new space to connect—it’s like a big, fun group chat with all your favorite Techno Sapiens readers (and writer). You can post questions or topics, join the discussion, or browse what other sapiens are saying.
Last week, we started a great thread with 150+ (and growing) recommendations for kids’ movies, shows, and podcasts that parents love, too.
This week, we’ll be chatting about our families’ summer screen time plans.
Come join us! You can access the chat using this link or through the Substack app.
The Scroll
And finally, The Scroll: a quick burst of updates, news, and links from the worlds of parenting and tech. Please let me know what you think, and get in touch with anything you’d like to see featured in the future!
A new guide from the California Partners Project offers tips for families to get outside and get active this summer
Two parenting books are out today and already on my reading list: Hello Cruel World! by
and Raising Awe-Seekers byNew study found that between ages 9 and 13, kids who used more social media than their own average in a given year reported increased depressive symptoms one year later. (JAMA Netw Open)
Google released Veo 3, its new AI video generator, and it’s already producing incredibly realistic videos
Circulating in my family group chat: The surprising ways that siblings shape our lives (NYTimes)
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For those wondering, the cannons were “not as loud as last year.” We also made it through the parade with zero tears and only minor confusion over whether the Revolutionary War reenactors were, in fact, pirates. Success!
Earlier last week, before the weather took a turn and cannon-prep began in earnest, I had the pleasure of speaking to parents at a beautiful school in Brooklyn about summer screen time, and I couldn’t wait to share some of the ideas we discussed with all of you.
Brainstorming baby names is going at the top of my family’s summer bucket list, as we have made no progress so far. When we ask my 3-year-old for suggestions, he looks around the room and names inanimate objects (chair, window) and laughs hysterically. My 20-month-old has so far come up with “baby.” We need help.
For more on creating a “screen time plan,” check out this guide that my friend Dr. Emily Weinstein and I put together.
Thank you for mentioning my book, "Raising Awe-Seekers," Jacqueline!
I appreciate this non-anxiety inducing summer screen time post. Will be sharing!