Q&A: Setting new screen time rules

(Without inciting revolt)

Hi! I’m Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist and professor at Brown University, co-founder of Tech Without Stress, and mom of two young kids.

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How do I introduce new screen time rules without my kids losing their minds? We started out summer with basically no rules, but now I’m ready to get back into more of a routine. I want my kids spending less time on YouTube and watching TV, but I know the pushback is going to be BAD. Any advice on cutting back? My kids are 9 and 6.

As a parent, it can be hard to introduce new limits. This is especially true when we have a feeling (often justified) that our kids will not be thrilled with those limits. There’s often a tradeoff of short- versus long-term gain, too. We know this will make our lives harder in the short-term, but we expect (hope, pray) it will make them easier in the long-term and, of course, that the outcome will be better for our kids.

So, how can you switch up screen time rules without inciting revolt?

Here are 5 ideas to consider:

1. Take a step back. Take a moment to consider your “why.” Why do you want to change up your family’s screen time habits? Why is this important to you? What is not working right now when it comes to screen time, and what would be different if it was working? Considering these questions is a key component of evidence-based programs for changing behavior (more on this here), and can offer motivation to stick with any changes you make. It can also help you separate what (if anything) you want to change, versus what you feel like you should be changing based on some Instagram-inspired idea of “good” parenting.