Summer screen time tips

Are we there yet?

Welcome to Techno Sapiens! I’m Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist and professor at Brown University, co-founder of Tech Without Stress (@techwithoutstress), and mom of two young kids. Techno Sapiens is now home almost 25,000 readers, and I’m so grateful you’re here.

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3 min read

My toddler had his final day of preschool last week. As I strapped him into his car seat to head home, he shouted “Hellooo summer!” “Oh, okay, yea! It’s summer now!” I replied, confident this was the correct response. He looked at me, shocked and horrified by my stupidity. “No! Summer is tomorrow.”

We’ve continued this game everyday since. “Is it summer today?” he asks. “Um, yea! I think it’s summer now?” I reply. “No,” he says gravely, “It is not. Not yet.”

And to be fair, I’ve felt the same confusion. As we approach this 57th (?) day of May,¹ we’re deep in the throes of end-of-year parties, birthday parties, ice cream parties, teacher gifts, spirit weeks, camp medical form due dates, parades, and so on.² We are making memories! We are scrambling for childcare! We are panic-buying foam tile mats because our 8-month-old is suddenly army crawling!³ We are, in all honesty, limping to the finish line.

So, as we embrace the chaos that not-quite-yet-summer brings, we’re keeping it short and sweet today.

My friend Dr. Emily Weinstein and I recently teamed up with Common Sense Media for a webinar as part of their Connected Schools Program. The topic: resetting your family’s tech tech habits over the summer.

You can find the full video below, but in the meantime, here are a few quick tips we shared:

• Create a summer bucket list! This is just a simple list of activities your family wants to do this summer. It doesn’t need to be anything complicated—check out the new ice cream store in town, learn to cook a new recipe, go for a bike ride. There can be tech-related items on the list too (e.g., family movie night, beat a level in a video game). In general, though, a list like this (displayed prominently in your house) can help to displace a little bit of tech time and offer a quick answer to the inevitable Moooooom, I’m bored!

• Consider your own tech use. Technoference occurs when our own tech use as parents interferes with our relationship with our kids. Take a moment to check in on your own tech habits, and consider whether they need a reboot (here are some tips). See if you can find ways to “co-use” tech (e.g., watch a show together, play “guess the animal sound” on YouTube),⁴ rather than having it interfere. And of course, make sure there’s plenty of time for screen-free connecting, too.

• Use the “5 S’s” for bucket list inspiration. In our tech parenting course for parents of tweens and teens, Emily and I distill the research down to “5 S’s”—5 things that kids need to build confidence and self-esteem outside of tech. Summer is a great time to emphasize these things:

  • Skills: learning something new or practicing a skill they’re already working on⁵

  • Service: doing something good for others, whether through formal volunteer work or simply helping out friends or family

  • Socializing: getting together in-person with friends; meeting new people

  • Self-care: taking care of physical and mental health—exercise, time outside, rest and relaxation

  • Sleep: kids need 9-12 hours, teens need 8-10 hours (and parents—or maybe this is just me—need every second they can get)

Happy not-yet-summer, sapiens. We’re almost there!

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A quick survey

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1. But really…still? It’s still May? How?

2. I should clarify that many of these end-of-year activities are great. Who doesn’t love a parade?! Highlights of this year’s Memorial Day Parade for my toddler were: the cannon (a real cannon that is fired repeatedly throughout the parade), the smoke from the cannon, the guy who fired the cannon (“I think he is a pirate”). Highlights for my 8-month-old: napping during the car ride home.

3. My Instagram feed is now entirely ads for “non-toxic baby play mats” and “washable kid-friendly rugs.” Send help.

4. My husband was the one to discover the “Guess the Animal Sound” game on Youtube. Both he and my toddler are very into it. We have not yet added it to our nightly post-bedtime New York Times games date, but I fear it might be coming soon.

5. For teens, a summer job can be a great way to learn and practice new skills. Anyone who worked a teenage summer job can also attest that it is invaluable for learning life lessons. I, for example, spent one summer in a pretty terrible camp counselor job. At the end of the summer, I got a speeding ticket that wiped out the entirety of my savings. My parents felt bad for me, sure, but I’m confident it was trumped by their appreciation for a good, old-fashioned natural consequence.