YES! This has been the message to the parents I work with and my concern with my own kids around SM and devices in general. It will be very hard to prove causation but look at the risks and also the habits it is creating in your kids and with that the skills that they are not developing from spending so much time on devices. This was very clearly articulated. Thank you!
I feel like this is what matters more for most of the kids. What they are missing out on, especially in terms of social development and physical activities in some cases. Like the opportunity to just be .... human.
Thank you. We don't need 'causal' evidence (that will never be definitive in this arena) to act to change policy and law to protect children AND all of us. These companies are directly invested in feeding and continuing this 'discourse paralysis' to impede movement on real action.
Wow, what an incredibly articulate, helpful and nuanced article. Thank you for continuing to put out this type of content. I hope you know how helpful it is to parents and educators alike.
“Harm to mental health does not need to be our threshold for whether something is wrong.”
Thank you Jacqueline for this grounded reframing. What resonated most for me was your insistence that we don’t need catastrophic mental health outcomes to justify concern — that appropriateness, safety, and developmental fit are already valid lenses. That feels both sane and overdue.
One thought your piece sparked is how “mental health” has become a rhetorical shield — invoked to signal seriousness while paradoxically delaying action. When everything must rise to the level of pathology to matter, we end up ignoring harm that is chronic, ambient, and quietly formative. Your reframing invites a more adult stance: one where we don’t wait for damage to become diagnosable before deciding something isn’t acceptable.
'Most likely, they come to believe it is bad for their mental health, but feel stuck using it anyway, and we create a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.' This pretty much sums up how I feel about my own social media use.
I appreciate the way you pull the conversation away from abstract debates and toward concrete risks kids are actually facing. The distinction between proving population-level mental illness and addressing obvious safety and developmental concerns feels practical. It also helps parents move from panic to problem-solving. The point about contracts and product safety is especially compelling. This reframing makes the issue feel more actionable instead of endlessly theoretical.
Thank you so much for shifting our attention to obvious, clearly defined problems with social media. I'd love to have solutions to these problems – for the sake of my grandkids, and to help focus the mental health debate. If kids spend reasonable amounts of time engaging with wholesome content, my concerns would mostly relate to cognition (e.g., attention span) and communication (e.g., writing and speaking skills).
Amen, sister! I've come around to the idea that the scientists who have demagogically pushed the "social media causes mental illness" story believe they need a bludgeon to change parents' behavior and drive tech regulation. A sort of "you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet" attitude. I'm all for regulating these companies and delaying kids' tech access. But the problem with distorting the science to drive a black-and-white narrative about the evils of tech is (a) hectoring "Just say no" public health campaigns ALWAYS backfire; (b) you divert attention and resources away from sustainable solutions, including teaching kids to use tech well; and (c) you ignore the data showing that mentally ill and abusive adults have a much larger negative impact on youth MH compared to tech. So, thank you to the alarm raisers, but we need to quickly move to Stage 2 of Operation Help Our Kids and understand the impact of tech in much more nuanced ways and widen our scope to refocus on their offline lives.
This is so good. You articulated so well how I've been feeling for a long time! The back and forth about causation feels like a distraction from the more subtle, less studied, yet profound issues kids are facing from large amounts of time online- sleep, attention, physical activity and time outside, the parent-child relationship , irritability, motivation... there are so many reasons to focus on pushing for safer platform design and teaching kids about how to navigate safety! thank you.
Saying that social media is fine because it hasn’t affected my child’s mental health, it’s like saying that smoking a pack a day is fine because you haven’t gotten cancer yet. I’m proud of kids. I’ve already figured out how to self regulate, and no when they’re getting that yucky feeling in their body from being on social media too long. Or just scrolling in general for too long.
This is interesting and well articulated. Thank you.
I'm not that familiar with the studies on social media use, but is there like a study on how much guidance from adults help? I feel like there are kids that are using it in wiser ways.
YES! I find that parents are relieved to get more specific, evidence-based examples of harmful use vs. healthy use as opposed to blanket and catastrophic warnings of harm. Thank you always for your thoughtful review of these issues.
Thanks Erin! It makes sense! Always helpful to have specifics as a parent so that you can make your own decisions based on what you know of your child!
This was very helpful! I’m defending my dissertation in about 6 weeks. I wrote about the need to recenter the physical body in formative education for Gen z college students- specifically as an antidote to the technocratic paradigm we see operating today. I really appreciate all of your nuance here, and would have loved if you kept going! I’ll try to join the coffee chat with some more questions!🤞🏼
YES! This has been the message to the parents I work with and my concern with my own kids around SM and devices in general. It will be very hard to prove causation but look at the risks and also the habits it is creating in your kids and with that the skills that they are not developing from spending so much time on devices. This was very clearly articulated. Thank you!
Thank you Ana!
Great point!
I feel like this is what matters more for most of the kids. What they are missing out on, especially in terms of social development and physical activities in some cases. Like the opportunity to just be .... human.
Completely agree. For most kids, it won't be about mental health but the impact on their overall development.
Thank you. We don't need 'causal' evidence (that will never be definitive in this arena) to act to change policy and law to protect children AND all of us. These companies are directly invested in feeding and continuing this 'discourse paralysis' to impede movement on real action.
"Discourse paralysis" is the perfect phrase for this
Wow, what an incredibly articulate, helpful and nuanced article. Thank you for continuing to put out this type of content. I hope you know how helpful it is to parents and educators alike.
Thank you so much!
“Harm to mental health does not need to be our threshold for whether something is wrong.”
Thank you Jacqueline for this grounded reframing. What resonated most for me was your insistence that we don’t need catastrophic mental health outcomes to justify concern — that appropriateness, safety, and developmental fit are already valid lenses. That feels both sane and overdue.
One thought your piece sparked is how “mental health” has become a rhetorical shield — invoked to signal seriousness while paradoxically delaying action. When everything must rise to the level of pathology to matter, we end up ignoring harm that is chronic, ambient, and quietly formative. Your reframing invites a more adult stance: one where we don’t wait for damage to become diagnosable before deciding something isn’t acceptable.
Not too long at all. Keep going. I want to hear your thoughts on the bans
Thanks Patrick!! Will try to put together another post on the bans!
'Most likely, they come to believe it is bad for their mental health, but feel stuck using it anyway, and we create a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.' This pretty much sums up how I feel about my own social media use.
Ugh, yes!
I really appreciate the balance here, Dr. Nesi. Thank you.
Thanks so much!
I appreciate the way you pull the conversation away from abstract debates and toward concrete risks kids are actually facing. The distinction between proving population-level mental illness and addressing obvious safety and developmental concerns feels practical. It also helps parents move from panic to problem-solving. The point about contracts and product safety is especially compelling. This reframing makes the issue feel more actionable instead of endlessly theoretical.
I love this. It really gets to the nuances that are so hard to articulate and convey. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for shifting our attention to obvious, clearly defined problems with social media. I'd love to have solutions to these problems – for the sake of my grandkids, and to help focus the mental health debate. If kids spend reasonable amounts of time engaging with wholesome content, my concerns would mostly relate to cognition (e.g., attention span) and communication (e.g., writing and speaking skills).
Amen, sister! I've come around to the idea that the scientists who have demagogically pushed the "social media causes mental illness" story believe they need a bludgeon to change parents' behavior and drive tech regulation. A sort of "you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet" attitude. I'm all for regulating these companies and delaying kids' tech access. But the problem with distorting the science to drive a black-and-white narrative about the evils of tech is (a) hectoring "Just say no" public health campaigns ALWAYS backfire; (b) you divert attention and resources away from sustainable solutions, including teaching kids to use tech well; and (c) you ignore the data showing that mentally ill and abusive adults have a much larger negative impact on youth MH compared to tech. So, thank you to the alarm raisers, but we need to quickly move to Stage 2 of Operation Help Our Kids and understand the impact of tech in much more nuanced ways and widen our scope to refocus on their offline lives.
Yes, thank you for this!
This is so good. You articulated so well how I've been feeling for a long time! The back and forth about causation feels like a distraction from the more subtle, less studied, yet profound issues kids are facing from large amounts of time online- sleep, attention, physical activity and time outside, the parent-child relationship , irritability, motivation... there are so many reasons to focus on pushing for safer platform design and teaching kids about how to navigate safety! thank you.
Thanks Alison!
Saying that social media is fine because it hasn’t affected my child’s mental health, it’s like saying that smoking a pack a day is fine because you haven’t gotten cancer yet. I’m proud of kids. I’ve already figured out how to self regulate, and no when they’re getting that yucky feeling in their body from being on social media too long. Or just scrolling in general for too long.
This is interesting and well articulated. Thank you.
I'm not that familiar with the studies on social media use, but is there like a study on how much guidance from adults help? I feel like there are kids that are using it in wiser ways.
Yes! Lots of info on studies about parenting and social media in the Techno Sapiens archive if you want to check it out! https://technosapiens.substack.com/archive
YES! I find that parents are relieved to get more specific, evidence-based examples of harmful use vs. healthy use as opposed to blanket and catastrophic warnings of harm. Thank you always for your thoughtful review of these issues.
Thanks Erin! It makes sense! Always helpful to have specifics as a parent so that you can make your own decisions based on what you know of your child!
This was very helpful! I’m defending my dissertation in about 6 weeks. I wrote about the need to recenter the physical body in formative education for Gen z college students- specifically as an antidote to the technocratic paradigm we see operating today. I really appreciate all of your nuance here, and would have loved if you kept going! I’ll try to join the coffee chat with some more questions!🤞🏼
So interesting! Would love to see you there!