Announcement!
Plus: what's new at Techno Sapiens
Welcome to Techno Sapiens! I’m Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist and professor at Brown University and mom of two young kids. Thanks for being here!
Spring has sprung, and the “fresh start effect” is in full force in my house. The first time on our to-do list? A visit from the Paci Fairy.
My three-year-old had a long-standing attachment to a pacifier that hung from a small, graying cow stuffie, affectionately named “Cow Paci.”1 For the past year or so, we’d manage to keep Cow Paci’s services to bedtime only, but we’ve long known its days were numbered.
After procrastinating for months over fear of disrupting our own sleep, my husband and I decided a grand departure was in order for Cow Paci. We explained to our son that the Paci Fairy would come one day to take the paci and bring it to babies in need, leaving gifts behind instead.2 For a week, we reminded him the Paci Fairy was coming “any day now.”
Then that day arrived.
While my son was downstairs with my husband, I got to work. With a heavy heart, I took a scissors to the rubber pacifier attachment, leaving a newly anonymous Cow behind. I wrapped a small blanket, an Elephant and Piggie book, and new Octonauts pajamas.34 I scratched out a quick note from the Paci Fairy, laid the goods out at the entrance to his room, and took a deep breath.
Minutes later, my son’s eyes were wide, staring at the nip-tucked Cow. Did the Paci Fairy come? He asked, a mix of delight and horror in his voice.
That night, his Octonaut pajama-wearing body was in constant, excited motion. He laughed out loud at his Elephant and Piggie book. He rubbed the soft blanket on his face.
My husband put him to bed, turned off the light, and slowly backed away, shutting the door behind him with surgical precision. We looked at each other, holding our breath, not daring to speak, listening carefully. My son burst out into song.
He slept like a baby that night, and so did we.5
And so, in the spirit of embracing the new, I thought I’d spend this week sharing what’s new here at Techno Sapiens.
A big announcement (and new perk for paying subscribers!)
Are you the parent of a baby or little kid (ages 0 to 6)? I’m getting ready to launch a new parenting course, and, of course, want my fellow techno sapiens to be the first to know.
Many of you are already aware that, along with my friend (and professional crush) Dr. Emily Weinstein, I started Tech Without Stress last year. Our goal is to cut through the fear, guilt, and confusion that many parents feel when it comes to navigating technology with their kids—and to provide realistic, evidence-based guidance that helps parents feel more confident.
We already have a course for parents of pre-teens and teens (ages 10 to 17), where we cover topics like how to manage smartphones, social media, sexting, pornography, and video games. Paid subscribers to Techno Sapiens already get a 50% discount on that course.
Now, by popular demand, we have a new course for parents of little kids (babies to age 6 or so)! It’s a library of short videos that you can watch (or just listen to) at your own pace, plus downloadable tip sheets and resources.
We cover everything from screen time questions, to preventing post-screen tantrums, to choosing the right apps and shows—distilling everything you need to know from the research into quick, digestible videos (about 45 minutes in total).
Here’s what some of our early viewers very kindly had to say about it:
Dr. Nesi and Dr. Weinstein are extremely knowledgeable on the topic in their fields of research, but they also really GET IT. They are moms with kids in this age range so the advice they are giving is relatable.
I loved the module on what I need to know about being on my phone around my kid. This is one of my biggest areas of "guilt" with screens, and I don't feel like other parenting resources I've come across have directly addressed this. The balanced approach helped ease the guilt a bit and had good, practical tips for me.
It made me feel better about my choices and less judged...you two are a huge asset and will bring peace of mind in such a tricky new territory of parenting.
The course costs $39, but paid subscribers to Techno Sapiens can get it for $19.50 (50% off!).
If you’re already a paid subscriber (thank you!), just scroll to the bottom of this post (after the footnotes) for your discount link.
If you’re not yet a a paid subscriber, now is the time! Upgrade your subscription here, or with the button below. Your discount link will be at the bottom of this post, and it will also be sent to you in an email right after you subscribe.
Note: if you’d rather just get the course on its own, you can do that right here.
Thank you for your support, sapiens!
Other happenings
I have a new piece out in Scientific American, all about whether and how (with specific instructions!) to set parental controls for kids of all ages. The first few paragraphs include a quick story about accidentally exposing my children to the beginnings of a movie’s sex scene, which is not a thing I imagined I’d be sharing with the audience of Scientific American, but here we are!
Speaking of items that were not on my 2025 bingo card, I was a guest on the Really? No, Really? Podcast, hosted by none other than Jason Alexander. He and his co-host, Peter Tilden, were incredibly kind and funny, and after I got over the initial shock of Zooming with George Costanza,6 we had a great conversation about social media bans, kids’ mental health, and what parents can do to help.
I was featured in Platonic Love, a newsletter I’ve been loving for their weekly links and recommendations. When they asked me to share a list of my own recommendations, I was slightly intimidated, as previous guests tend to share trendy fashion items or cool cultural finds. In the end, I stayed true to myself, with such recommendations as: a heavily-researched children’s life vest, a new randomized controlled trial about screen time, and of course, Bluey.
Recently on Techno Sapiens
And finally, here’s what you might have missed on Techno Sapiens recently:
Thanks for being here, sapiens. See you back here next week—same time, same place.
Cow Paci is this one, for those curious. The pacifier attachment was replaced many times over the years. For my younger son, who seems similarly attached to the pacifier, we’ve learned from past mistakes and have two paci-stuffies in the rotation to allow for: (1) more frequent washing, and (2) less panic when we lose them.
I recognize that for non-parents—and, maybe, parents who raised their children before the past 10 years or so—the concept of the Paci Fairy seems totally insane. Why not just, you know, tell the kid they’re done with the pacifier and take it away? I do not have a good answer for that.
Admittedly, the wrapping paper was Christmas themed. We can’t be expected to be prepared for all magical beings.
These 100% polyester, Amazon Octonauts pajamas are possibly my greatest success as a parent to date.
After my son’s first night paci free, my husband and I were congratulating ourselves and marveling over how easy it was. We mentioned the success to my dad, who very gently asked whether it might be a little too early to celebrate, as we weren’t totally “out of the woods” yet. Spoken like a man who’s been burned by his six children a few too many times before.
I was a little nervous about making sure I conveyed the research accurately on Jason Alexander’s podcast, but more than anything, I was terrified I was going to accidentally call him George. Crisis averted!