May 6Liked by Yael Schonbrun, Jacqueline Nesi, PhD
How much of the angst over phubbing is techno-phobia? It is incredibly normal for couples to sit side by side, ignoring each other, watching a screen. Going to the movies is a classic date option. Why is it bad on a phone? Is it that the media consumed is different? Would people have the same reaction to a study about the epidemic of couples reading books in each other’s presence? I think the point about the interpretation mattering more than the intention is telling. To me this looks like unhappy couples looking for something to blame and landing on phones because of both the newness of the technology and all the press about how bad it is.
May 6Liked by Yael Schonbrun, Jacqueline Nesi, PhD
Interesting points. One thing that feels different to me is the short and frequent bursts of phone use. An activity like reading (or crafting, or cleaning, or tinkering or any other thing...) is, for me at least, a different time commitment. I do these things with my partner but they take more time and happen less frequently. In that way they are less an interruption and more of a stand alone activity in the presence of another.
May 7Liked by Yael Schonbrun, Jacqueline Nesi, PhD
I think it's one thing to read an article on the phone, but it's something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when you or your partner is, say, trying to take sides on the whole Drake/Kendrick situation, ignoring you completely. They're engrossed in something else and in a different world. And that's rude.
May 6Liked by Yael Schonbrun, Jacqueline Nesi, PhD
I think that's a good point. Maybe it's just having another, more ubiquitous, point to hang miscommunication and disconnection on, since perception matters more than intention.
Before cell phones and even today, my husband and I often would read the newspaper, do a crossword, or watch the game while we waited for our food. Now we do those things on cell phones, too. But we don't perceive that as an insult or disconnection. Hanging out together, reading or working a puzzle, is a small joy in life. If we need to talk and have each other's full attention, we ask to do that. Yes, picking up a phone in the middle of a conversation would be rude and disconnecting, but so would watching the game over my shoulder, or my attention being caught by a bird. Recognize, apologize, reconnect, try not to think whether the bird lives in this area full time.
How much of the angst over phubbing is techno-phobia? It is incredibly normal for couples to sit side by side, ignoring each other, watching a screen. Going to the movies is a classic date option. Why is it bad on a phone? Is it that the media consumed is different? Would people have the same reaction to a study about the epidemic of couples reading books in each other’s presence? I think the point about the interpretation mattering more than the intention is telling. To me this looks like unhappy couples looking for something to blame and landing on phones because of both the newness of the technology and all the press about how bad it is.
Interesting points. One thing that feels different to me is the short and frequent bursts of phone use. An activity like reading (or crafting, or cleaning, or tinkering or any other thing...) is, for me at least, a different time commitment. I do these things with my partner but they take more time and happen less frequently. In that way they are less an interruption and more of a stand alone activity in the presence of another.
I think it's one thing to read an article on the phone, but it's something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when you or your partner is, say, trying to take sides on the whole Drake/Kendrick situation, ignoring you completely. They're engrossed in something else and in a different world. And that's rude.
I think that's a good point. Maybe it's just having another, more ubiquitous, point to hang miscommunication and disconnection on, since perception matters more than intention.
Before cell phones and even today, my husband and I often would read the newspaper, do a crossword, or watch the game while we waited for our food. Now we do those things on cell phones, too. But we don't perceive that as an insult or disconnection. Hanging out together, reading or working a puzzle, is a small joy in life. If we need to talk and have each other's full attention, we ask to do that. Yes, picking up a phone in the middle of a conversation would be rude and disconnecting, but so would watching the game over my shoulder, or my attention being caught by a bird. Recognize, apologize, reconnect, try not to think whether the bird lives in this area full time.
And now I've got strands saved to the puzzle tab on my phone 😂
I can't stop!!!
Footnote #3.... it's the worst!! a stab in the heart. But a healthy reminder!
100%!