There are parallels with the tobacco industry that are striking. Top CEOs defending their industry, reminiscent of past situations involving billions of dollars. Unlike the auto industry's progress in safety, we must acknowledge how electronic media's comparative culture undermines kids' understanding of body autonomy. Teaching them (and ourselves) about these dynamics is crucial. Here’s a link to my recent article: https://open.substack.com/pub/johnmoyermedlpcncc/p/the-tiktok-generation?r=3p5dh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
They are totally bickering over the last fry. No one wants to take the first move and they want Mom to solve it. Yes, we need changes to keep kids safe now and long term.
I think a broader question is -- how does a parent deter use of social media when all of a child's friends are on it? I think most parents are in alignment: "I don't want my kid hooked on social media, video games, [insert digital replacement to real life], etc."
I am keen to get your thoughts on how to help your child
- a) have sufficient self confidence that they don't feel the need to mimic their friend's digital habits
- b) understand our need as parents to place stringent limits on their social media, and/or
- c) get new friends that embrace a less metaverse'y mindset.
Thanks for the article! Now it is more a question of how to actually implement this as a parent without destroying your child's place among their peers (or at least their perception of it)
“Is social media detrimental to a minor's mental health?” It has always been a bizarre question, considering the term “social media” fails to specify its literal implications. I think a better question would be, “Do social media platforms have the ability to ensure the safety and privacy of minors?” No, they do not. “Are social media platforms facilitating content or exposing minors to risks that in any other context would violate federal law?” Yes, they are. Picture this: a recreational center whose massive profits depend on the engagement of your children neglects to check the ID of each person entering the facility. Sadly, a lot of those people who entered are not kids but adults who are known sex offenders. These sex offenders have been mingling with your children for weeks, and one of them happens to expose himself and asks your child to do the same. You and your fellow community members are understandably outraged, and immediate action be taken to ensure the safety of minors. Ultimately, social media is kind of like lowering the drinking age to 13 or 14 and wondering how to make bars “safer spaces” for minors. These platforms are incapable of maintaining a safe environment for children, period.
I like the car analogy. Yes, we can make cars better. Doesn't mean we need to stop using them or demonize car companies. For most people, cars work fine.
Great points - been working with people in my school district for going on a year (!) now to get someone to listen and help take some action steps that we need phones out of classrooms in a meaningful way. It's been uphill all the way, with bizarre pushback at all levels, but in my last meeting, I made one thing clear - that we want to steer clear of this distraction in D.C., sinvce it's verging on turning into a moral panic, which gives sides leverage and footholds to knock it all around, and as you said, go nowhere with it. It is distracting, and having the current congresspeople decide they're going to do somehting about it is useless and will ultimatley only force the platforms them to circle wagons and take up a more agressive posture. Zuck did at one time call himself a "wartime CEO" when the world came at FB, after all.
But also >>I am also of the (controversial?) opinion that the people who run social media companies are…just people. << Yeah - agree to disagree. I'm not sure I'd be pals with Mark or any social platform CEO/Techbro, given the products they've designed and what they've allowed to happen via them (FB, especially), while saying, "It's just free speech," and mumbling something about "better ideas" and the market deciding.
I think you've got an uphill battle saying Zuck is "just people" after Myanmar. "Just people" don't have reports condeming their company from the UN and Amnesty International as playing a role in genocide. I know it's not specifically what's going on here, but , as with the historical tweaks to the algorithims over the years to make it *more* addictive for users, and the times when they've been asked to change things to help people and said, "no," let's frame these "just people" in light of their actions, not words and hollow, PR/lawyer-written apologies, to put their present actions in context.
The metaphor of fighting over the last fry is a good one. Such a great reframing of the key question because the tech companies simply do not feel accountable or responsible for other people's choices. Should tech companies do more to protect the well-being of kids and adolescents? Yes. Do alcohol and tobacco companies stop advertising to kids on their channels? Yes. Change can happen, and social media can do better. The most poignant part of the hearing was the parents holding up photos of their kids lost to the black hole of social media. https://apnews.com/article/meta-tiktok-snap-discord-zuckerberg-testify-senate-00754a6bea92aaad62585ed55f219932
I agree with this position. I do not think social media is a horrible thing for anyone, even children. But right now, it is a net negative. And there is a lot we have to do to make it better. I do see us learning how it should be used eventually. But right now it is, IMO, a major health issue for everyone, especially kids.
But one of the core issues is rooted in what it’s replacing, not adding in. People are missing out on real, in-person relationships. Looking a person in the eye, not a 2-D projected image of that eye. We can all feel the difference with that. The term “social network” has completely reframed and devalued the phrase social connection. It’s also replacing physical activity, getting outside in the sun, engaging with the physical world. These are major components of experiencing life that social media is replacing.
The other thing I would add in is that I don’t think humans were meant to have 1,000’s of relationships, strewn across multiple cultures all with vastly different customs, morals, traditions, etc. It’s all slammed in our faces and we can’t process it nearly as fast as we perceive it. Kids are probably so confused growing up in a family with a certain culture and then have a whole other family online full of completely contradicting ways of life. Where’s the framework and the guidance coming from? It’s all very confusing for them.
I really think this is a topic that social media ceos should think and be aware of before lunching any app or website. It doesn’t matter if the social media is famous or not, nowadays everyone is using social media, including kids, so instead of waiting for a demand from angry parents saying that their 5 year old child is addicted to Tik Tok, they should create a better environment for kids or even better, create a specific social media for kids. Like when youtube created youtube kids to protect what their children were watching. We should all follow those steps
I hope you send this article to Congress and to each member individually. Great article.
Thank you!
There are parallels with the tobacco industry that are striking. Top CEOs defending their industry, reminiscent of past situations involving billions of dollars. Unlike the auto industry's progress in safety, we must acknowledge how electronic media's comparative culture undermines kids' understanding of body autonomy. Teaching them (and ourselves) about these dynamics is crucial. Here’s a link to my recent article: https://open.substack.com/pub/johnmoyermedlpcncc/p/the-tiktok-generation?r=3p5dh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
They are totally bickering over the last fry. No one wants to take the first move and they want Mom to solve it. Yes, we need changes to keep kids safe now and long term.
I think a broader question is -- how does a parent deter use of social media when all of a child's friends are on it? I think most parents are in alignment: "I don't want my kid hooked on social media, video games, [insert digital replacement to real life], etc."
I am keen to get your thoughts on how to help your child
- a) have sufficient self confidence that they don't feel the need to mimic their friend's digital habits
- b) understand our need as parents to place stringent limits on their social media, and/or
- c) get new friends that embrace a less metaverse'y mindset.
Thanks for the article! Now it is more a question of how to actually implement this as a parent without destroying your child's place among their peers (or at least their perception of it)
Yes, these are great questions (maybe *the* questions)! I'll try to keep writing about these topics here!
Thanks! Looking forward to reading it.
“Is social media detrimental to a minor's mental health?” It has always been a bizarre question, considering the term “social media” fails to specify its literal implications. I think a better question would be, “Do social media platforms have the ability to ensure the safety and privacy of minors?” No, they do not. “Are social media platforms facilitating content or exposing minors to risks that in any other context would violate federal law?” Yes, they are. Picture this: a recreational center whose massive profits depend on the engagement of your children neglects to check the ID of each person entering the facility. Sadly, a lot of those people who entered are not kids but adults who are known sex offenders. These sex offenders have been mingling with your children for weeks, and one of them happens to expose himself and asks your child to do the same. You and your fellow community members are understandably outraged, and immediate action be taken to ensure the safety of minors. Ultimately, social media is kind of like lowering the drinking age to 13 or 14 and wondering how to make bars “safer spaces” for minors. These platforms are incapable of maintaining a safe environment for children, period.
I like the car analogy. Yes, we can make cars better. Doesn't mean we need to stop using them or demonize car companies. For most people, cars work fine.
Great points - been working with people in my school district for going on a year (!) now to get someone to listen and help take some action steps that we need phones out of classrooms in a meaningful way. It's been uphill all the way, with bizarre pushback at all levels, but in my last meeting, I made one thing clear - that we want to steer clear of this distraction in D.C., sinvce it's verging on turning into a moral panic, which gives sides leverage and footholds to knock it all around, and as you said, go nowhere with it. It is distracting, and having the current congresspeople decide they're going to do somehting about it is useless and will ultimatley only force the platforms them to circle wagons and take up a more agressive posture. Zuck did at one time call himself a "wartime CEO" when the world came at FB, after all.
But also >>I am also of the (controversial?) opinion that the people who run social media companies are…just people. << Yeah - agree to disagree. I'm not sure I'd be pals with Mark or any social platform CEO/Techbro, given the products they've designed and what they've allowed to happen via them (FB, especially), while saying, "It's just free speech," and mumbling something about "better ideas" and the market deciding.
I think you've got an uphill battle saying Zuck is "just people" after Myanmar. "Just people" don't have reports condeming their company from the UN and Amnesty International as playing a role in genocide. I know it's not specifically what's going on here, but , as with the historical tweaks to the algorithims over the years to make it *more* addictive for users, and the times when they've been asked to change things to help people and said, "no," let's frame these "just people" in light of their actions, not words and hollow, PR/lawyer-written apologies, to put their present actions in context.
The metaphor of fighting over the last fry is a good one. Such a great reframing of the key question because the tech companies simply do not feel accountable or responsible for other people's choices. Should tech companies do more to protect the well-being of kids and adolescents? Yes. Do alcohol and tobacco companies stop advertising to kids on their channels? Yes. Change can happen, and social media can do better. The most poignant part of the hearing was the parents holding up photos of their kids lost to the black hole of social media. https://apnews.com/article/meta-tiktok-snap-discord-zuckerberg-testify-senate-00754a6bea92aaad62585ed55f219932
I agree with this position. I do not think social media is a horrible thing for anyone, even children. But right now, it is a net negative. And there is a lot we have to do to make it better. I do see us learning how it should be used eventually. But right now it is, IMO, a major health issue for everyone, especially kids.
But one of the core issues is rooted in what it’s replacing, not adding in. People are missing out on real, in-person relationships. Looking a person in the eye, not a 2-D projected image of that eye. We can all feel the difference with that. The term “social network” has completely reframed and devalued the phrase social connection. It’s also replacing physical activity, getting outside in the sun, engaging with the physical world. These are major components of experiencing life that social media is replacing.
The other thing I would add in is that I don’t think humans were meant to have 1,000’s of relationships, strewn across multiple cultures all with vastly different customs, morals, traditions, etc. It’s all slammed in our faces and we can’t process it nearly as fast as we perceive it. Kids are probably so confused growing up in a family with a certain culture and then have a whole other family online full of completely contradicting ways of life. Where’s the framework and the guidance coming from? It’s all very confusing for them.
I really think this is a topic that social media ceos should think and be aware of before lunching any app or website. It doesn’t matter if the social media is famous or not, nowadays everyone is using social media, including kids, so instead of waiting for a demand from angry parents saying that their 5 year old child is addicted to Tik Tok, they should create a better environment for kids or even better, create a specific social media for kids. Like when youtube created youtube kids to protect what their children were watching. We should all follow those steps
I just wrote an article on how this could actually work (unusual these days, I know). Sorry, I'm a techie; this is what I do.
https://albertcory50.substack.com/p/enforcing-a-social-app-ban-for-kids