"Good job" is neither sensitive nor specific enough.
It is after the fact - that is, it responds to a goal.
Also "good job" is very abstract and many children and thinkers are very concrete.
[one could also use the distal and proximal models].
[Some people might think the Internet is a distal co-parent or the object - like a smartphone is an object].
And praise and encouragement are developed *within a relationship* - and not only a relationship with a loved or liked or admired person. This person/those people could be an adult or a peer or a slightly older person. Or even a younger person who has chosen to jump rank.
Process praise is a better thing.
I think, too, of the connections between co-regulation and standards - as I have seen and met in the works of Sarah Bren and the psychologist mothers who are her friends [Upshur and Rebecca H]
@Barbara Frandsen talks about the power of -er praise rather than -in praise and phrasing.
Very glad that "The Internet our favourite co-parent" is now in the public eye apart from paid subscribers.
Ok, I love your newsletters! But, if you are looking for evidence about the whole 'good job' thing, you need to read Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn. Definitely the best book I've read all year (and as someone who obviously enjoys footnotes, please do read his footnotes!)
Also, can someone remind me how to get the footnotes to work without manually scrolling to the bottom?
Thanks for the rec! Will definitely check it out. :)
For the footnotes - I know. It's such a pain scrolling to the bottom! If you click on the email and read the post in your browser, the footnotes will be "clickable" (so no more scrolling!) But as of now, Substack doesn't have a way to make the footnotes clickable directly in email.
Your practical and frank newsletters are awesome.
Thank you!
"Good job" is neither sensitive nor specific enough.
It is after the fact - that is, it responds to a goal.
Also "good job" is very abstract and many children and thinkers are very concrete.
[one could also use the distal and proximal models].
[Some people might think the Internet is a distal co-parent or the object - like a smartphone is an object].
And praise and encouragement are developed *within a relationship* - and not only a relationship with a loved or liked or admired person. This person/those people could be an adult or a peer or a slightly older person. Or even a younger person who has chosen to jump rank.
Process praise is a better thing.
I think, too, of the connections between co-regulation and standards - as I have seen and met in the works of Sarah Bren and the psychologist mothers who are her friends [Upshur and Rebecca H]
@Barbara Frandsen talks about the power of -er praise rather than -in praise and phrasing.
Very glad that "The Internet our favourite co-parent" is now in the public eye apart from paid subscribers.
Ok, I love your newsletters! But, if you are looking for evidence about the whole 'good job' thing, you need to read Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn. Definitely the best book I've read all year (and as someone who obviously enjoys footnotes, please do read his footnotes!)
Also, can someone remind me how to get the footnotes to work without manually scrolling to the bottom?
Thanks for the rec! Will definitely check it out. :)
For the footnotes - I know. It's such a pain scrolling to the bottom! If you click on the email and read the post in your browser, the footnotes will be "clickable" (so no more scrolling!) But as of now, Substack doesn't have a way to make the footnotes clickable directly in email.